"’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are
your ways my ways," declares the LORD.’” Isaiah 55:8
Last Friday, I dropped off a friend who was heading to Romania
for a short term mission. On the way to the airport… my mind started to travel
back to two years ago when I was heading to the same airport to take the same
mission trip to Romania! I was under a lot of pressure! I knew that two things
would happen: one I was going to fall in love with missions and become a full
time missionary or two I was going to hate it and never step foot on the field
again. You can guess what happen!!! That is right, in 33 more days I will be
heading out to the mission field full time.
Two years ago I had a wonderful man in my life and two beautiful
kids along with my first dog! To me I had everything I needed… but now looking
back and seeing I was missing something… my life was full, but my soul was very
empty! I was playing Christian. I was going to church, praying, reading my
bible, and teaching bible study with my soon to be husband. Until one night, I asked
God to alter my plans, so that His plans for my life could take place! I did
not know what would come, but the pain I endured was worth it!!! I lost the man
of my dreams, my son, myself, my friends, and was placed in a deep dark pit!
God had to remove everything that was causing me not to see
His plan. I followed God, but did not trust him! I had faith like a blade of
grass which a gentle breezes would knock it down. At the time I could not
understand what God was doing… I was emotional wreck, and could barely get out
of the bed! I still don’t see how I could have kept my job! My soul was
stripped bare! God slowly took the broken hard clay and began to smooth the cracks
of my life. His ways were higher than my own.
I had to learn what faith's meaning, and to do that God broke me
of everything… I had to trust God with my very life… to have Him help me get up
in the morning, to drive to work, to be able to eat, and sleep. Now I thank God
every day for breaking me! I might not have the man of my dreams, or my son, or
my friends, but I know who I am! I found my worth in God and God alone! My
faith is unshakable! I am able to stand in the face of the world and tell
people that my story did not end with me in the pit!! My story started when I began
to trust My God and started to put my faith in HIM. That is when I put one foot
in front of the other and walked out of the pit! I can stand on the rock!! And proclaim
to the entire world that I am a woman of God and He can use the broke to change
the world and to bring life to a dying soul!
So my question to you is this: Do you trust God to break
you? Do you trust Him with your life if it means a pit? Will you let Him mold
you into the person He needs you to be? Are you willing to go deeper for Him? The
one that gave you life and a reason to breath.
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